


who's a good boy?

by displayheartcode



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Young Wizards - Diane Duane
Genre: A slight apocalypse of the furry and nutty kind, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Gen, unedited fic because shrug face
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 04:13:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11028417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/displayheartcode/pseuds/displayheartcode
Summary: "Bill, meet Ponch. He's a god and a dog. Much love for that kind of humor."





	who's a good boy?

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry that I’ve been AWOL for the last couple of months. It’s been a weird mixture of little energy and too many academic papers. Finals are done and my internship has started! I will have very little time this summer to write. 
> 
> Spoilers for Young Wizards, of course.

Bill looked down at the mutt who had rolled to his back, appearing desperately needy for a belly-rub. 

“A god?” she repeated. She bent her knees and gave the dog a good scratch. She was only human, after all. “Looking a bit furry for one, yeah?”

The Doctor made an amused sound from the back of his throat. Bill always interpreted it as a mixture of paternal laughter and the weary sigh of a professor being asked too many questions. “You’ve seen a large fish who’s feces was being used for fuel, a swam of killer robotic bees, but you question the dog?”

Ponch rolled his head to the side, whining. He batted his large eyes at the Doctor, but it had no effect on his Scottish scowl.

“Now you’ve done it,” Bill said. She rubbed the dog behind his ear, speaking in a soothing voice. “The scary dad alien has made the god dog upset.”

 _And he never brings snacks!_ Ponch added a series of pitiful barks _. I demand several to count as an apology._

She froze. Ponch licked her hand. “He just talked to me. Doctor, the dog just said something. I could understand him.”

“Dogs are always saying something, but the question still remains: do they ever say anything useful?” He searched for something in the depths of his pockets and came up with several dog treats. Ponch rolled back to his feet, eyes locked on the food. “An age-old question, perhaps; but I’ve always preferred the company of cats.”

“But are we speaking a dog language?” Bill asked. “Does this mean I can start questioning my neighbor’s St. Bernard?” 

“Only if he knows what’s causing some local universes to proliferate. Very messy business.” The Doctor slowly waved a dog treat in front of Ponch. “Now who’s a good boy?”

 _That’s a very naughty question,_ Ponch said. He raised a paw to rub at his nose. _How do you know they’re breeding?_

“Because the geometries of the isoparthenogenetic _n_ -dimensional rotations are off by a quarter-inch, causing it to self-rotate and mingle with another occupied space of mass, disturbing the _loci_ mechanics.”

_And?_

The Doctor sighed. “We are currently hip-deep in squirrels, Ponch."

Ponch looked around and appeared unsurprised by the large squirrel population in the park that had sprung up in the last few weeks. It was causing talk in several scientific communities. 

“A dog did this?” Bill threw her hands up in the air. “My foster mum is going to kill him!”

“He’s a god _and_ a dog,” The Doctor stressed. “And he has also been a bad boy. You should be ashamed of yourself.” He broke one dog treat in half and handed it to Ponch. “Now fix it.”


End file.
